One Direction Fan-fiction chapter 34

One Direction Fan-fiction
        Chapter 34

The press in US was worse than back home. Harry and I could hardly leave to hotel without being followed by reporters and photographers. Three weeks of that, and our relationship was starting to change for the worse: We started fights over nothing and our language wasn’t pretty. His new friends in New York knew how to party, and of course Harry couldn’t miss that. I don’t know whether I asked him to stay home at the hotel because I needed him, or because I was jealous of him having fun while I struggled with back pains and weird eating habits.
   Lately Harry had moved his pillow and duvet into our suite’s living room to sleep on the couch. On one hand I appreciated it, ‘cause that meant more room for my enormous stomach, but on the other hand it hurt. It scared me. It made me sad, that Harry wouldn’t sleep with me. I remember how my dad started to sleep on the couch, just before they told me they were having a divorce.
   Maybe I was too hard on him. Harry. Maybe I just needed to back off, and accept that he’s still a teenager, and that he’s got the right to go partying and get drunk every night even though I can’t. Maybe I just need to stop thinking so much, and make a problem out of nothing. Maybe it’s me.
   Mum and Alan came here a few days ago. They’re staying at our hotel a few levels down. I’ve used my time talking with them. Mum seems very understanding but Alan’s taken Harry’s side. Not that I mind, but I’d rather he was on mine.
   Emma was busy eating Niall so I didn’t see her that much anymore. They spend every free minute together. Jenny and Louis were closer than ever, so I could barely get a word said.

Today was the band’s last day in New York. Tomorrow we’d be leaving for L.A. I was excited and hoped that could cheer me up and that a bit of sun perhaps could make me more attractive: even with this football on my stomach.
   “Have you seen my sweatpants?” Harry asked as he tried to pack his suitcase. I shook my dead as I closed my diary I’d been writing all my hurtful words in.
   “Can’t say I have. Have you looked under the couch?” I said trying not to sound too indifferent.
   “Yeah! Fuck’s sake. I don’t have time for this; I’m supposed to meet the others in the hall in ten minutes!” He sounded rather frustrated.
   “Are you going out again tonight?” I asked surprised as I got up from the desk’s chair.
   “Yea, didn’t I tell you?”
   “No, you didn’t-“
   “Oh, well I am. The lads and I are meeting some friends on Times Square.”
   “You could have told me, I made a reservation at a restaurant for the four of us-“
   “Can’t tonight … Where the fuck is my sweatpants?!”
I was astounded. I didn’t know what to say or do. I just stood there.
   “There you are!” Harry then exclaimed as he finally found his fucking sweatpants. He threw them in his suitcase and grabbed his jacket. “Do wait up, might be late before I’m back. See you later!”Not even a kiss. Not even a “love” or “darling”. Not even my name.
   Even though he told me not to, I waited up for him to get home. It was almost five AM before the door to your suite finally opened. A very drunk Harry appeared after a while. He couldn't walk straight at all, his balance almost paralyzed from the drugs in the alcohol. He tried to be quiet as he fumbled with his clothes, trying to get everything off at once.
    I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep, knowing Harry hadn't seen I was awake. I couldn't handle this anymore. Even though he was in the other room, I could smell the perfume on his shirt, clearly not his own. The rage was unbarring, I wanted to scream, I wanted to slap him, make my pain physical, figuring it would be less painful. I soon heard his snoring and decided, that I'd wait: Tomorrow would be a new day, a new chapter; everything would be different.

Unfortunately it wasn't. As soon as we got to L.A, Harry started making excuses for not being in the same room as me. I lost it, I flipped out. He'd set my teeth on edge for days. He had begged me to come with his to US, why was he acting like this? It didn't make any sense. We were in our hotel room, unpacking our trunks as hell broke loose.
   "Each night I see you get home with new kissing marks on your shirt, a new smell of perfume on your skin and I'm done with it, Harry! Finished! You've spoiled everything!" I screamed as I threw my clothes inside the wardrobe.
   “I thought our relationship was built on trust. We can’t be together, if you don’t trust me-“ Harry explained raising his voice himself. “Besides, this isn’t easy for me either, you know!”
   “Oh, of course! You just go to those parties, because you are trying to deal with it. That’s your way of handling it?!” I yelled, as I put my suitcase down on the floor. “I see, you’re the one struggling; you’re the one who is having a rough time, not me.”
   “Fuck! No! I never said that-“
    “You sure hell acts like it!”
   “Why are you acting like this?! Could you just please take a breath!” Harry yelled back as he took a step towards me.
   “Oh, I don’t know? Maybe it’s the hormones!” I screamed in his face before walking pass him to put my toilet bag in the bathroom. "You're pathetic! I'm sick of you and your over-average need for getting drunk! You were the one talking me into coming along, remember?!" I cried out from the bathroom.
    “I do remember, and I’m glad you did! Don’t take your rage out on me; I don’t deserve it-“ Harry cried back.
   We fought for several hours, before I finally had enough. I grabbed his rented car keys and slammed the door after me. It was dark outside, the street lights trying to lighten the city up. I hardly noticed the reporters standing outside our hotel. Their flash lights and million questions was the last thing I cared about at this moment. I could almost see the morning’s headlines: Cassie on the run, leaving Harry. Then they'd have something to talk about.
   I got into his car and hit the gas with full speed. I drove for almost an hour. Obviously I'd picked a non-trafficked road, for I was the only person awake at this hour. I was crying, not giving a fuck about it. I felt my pocket vibrate, knowing it was Harry trying to catch me on my phone. But not this time. This time, I'd be the one leaving him at the hotel for the night.
    The street lights stopped, and the cars lights were weak. I didn't slow down though. I didn't care. I followed the road, turning as it did. I had no idea where I was, or where I was headed. I just drove.


*THRID PERSON POV*

Cassie was driving way over the speed limit, not focusing on keeping the car on her side of the road. She didn't see the other car in time to correct the car: she slapped her foot on the break, making the car turned around itself, flying up in the air and landed on the roof. The other car had been driving more carefully, the person had time to slow down and drive into the side of the road. Cassie coughed and groaned as she opened her eyes. The pain in her stomach was incredible, and she soon knew something was extremely wrong. The other driver got over to her as soon as he could; helping her gently out of the car, making sure nothing was broken.
   "Hey! Look at me. Are you okay?" The man asked, forcing her to look him in his eyes. "How many fingers am I holding up?" he asked with three fingers showing.
   "Three … OUCH!" Cassie screamed as she arched her back.
   "I've already called for an ambulance; it'll be here in five minutes." The man tried to make her comfortable, not quiet knowing how. Cassie was bleeding from her forehead possibly from when the cars roof hit the asphalt.


*HARRY'S POV*

I had called Cassie four-hundred times without her picking up. I hoped she'd just taken the car to get some fresh air or something. When my phone finally ringed, I hoped it'd be Cassie, but instead I discovered it to be a man-voice. I was shocked by the words he spoke, I was paralyzed, I didn't believe him: I didn't know what to say or how to react. I just grabbed my jacket and got into the first cab I saw. The hospital was very quiet. I ran up and down the hall, trying to find Cassie's room. She was lying with tubes in her arm, hands and one in her nose for air support. I didn't hesitate before going inside, I just walked straight in, tears in my eyes as I reach the foot of her bed. She was awake, she'd seen me, but didn't say anything. I took a deep breath before walking to sit on her bed by her side.
    "15 weeks left, and we'd have been parents," she then whispered as the tears created themselves in the corners of her eyes. "We'd have had a girl." Her voice was full of grief and sadness. Tears fell from her eyes. She sighed and whipped her face. I grabbed her by her hand, letting her cry as mine tears started to fell themselves. She didn't protest at my touch, she hugged my hand tight as she cried. "A little girl, Harry." I cried with her, feeling miserable for letting her leave, for being such a douche, being so self-minded, not man enough to give a fuck about this girl, his love, his everything. "It hurts, Harry … it really hurts!"
   "Do you want me to get help?" I sobbed worried as I was about to let go of her hand.
   "No, that's not what I meant …" she replied as she shook her head. I nodded and got up from the bed to kiss Cassie's forehead. No more. Never again was she to leave my sight or side.

It was a nightmare. Not literally unfortunately. Cassie had stayed at the hospital for three days. The whole world knew. It was all over the papers and the news.
   Cassie’s mum and Alan had stayed at the hospital as long as me and Cassie. Her mum was trying to comfort her, but nothing seemed to help. Even Emma and Jenny had been visiting. But all she did was crying and sleeping and crying again. She wouldn’t eat anything. The nurses were starting to worry. They literally had to force the food down her throat to make sure she ate. She’d become rather emotional. She cried at nothing. I was started to lose my mind. I felt helpless, I felt useless, I felt like the world was against me, against us. No one could do or say anything that could turn this nightmare into a dream.
   “The doctors said you can go home tomorrow,” John said as he stroked his daughter’s sweaty and dirty hair. She didn’t reply only continued to stare into the air. John had arrived as soon as he could, that being yesterday. “Wouldn’t that be nice? To come home?” She didn’t reply this time either, not in words anyway. She slowly nodded softly before turning her empty look to meet my eyes. I was sitting in the corner, giving her family a bit of space, figured she needed that.
“Can I have a minute alone please?” she then asked, turning her eyes the other direction. “A little while? I’ll be fine, promise.”
   “Of course, sweetheart. We will go grab some lunch,” her mother replied softly before John, Alan and she went through the door. I got up, heading for the door, when Cassie stopped me.
   “Harry? Do you mind … Staying?” No, not at all! I closed the door, and walked over to her bed.    I sat down on the edge of the bed, taking her hand. “Thanks.”
    “Anything, Cassie.” I forced on a weak smile as I let my free hand run down her cheek. “Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?”
   “No, I’m okay …”
This was the first time we were actually alone and able to talk to each other.  
   “Listen, Cassie about that night—“ I said, sighing, as I was about to continue.
   “No, please, can’t we just be here, for a moment?” she almost begged and I did dare doing anything against her will. I laid down by her side and she cuddled into my chest, resting her head on my shoulder. I rested my head on hers and sighed.
   “This is nice,” she mumbled sleepy. She didn’t fall asleep, though, her mum came in and asked if I wanted some lunch. My stomach rumbled in response and I kissed Cassie on her forehead before heading towards the door.
   “Won’t you sing for me?” Cassie asked her mum with sleep in her voice.
   “What do you want me to sing?” she asked curiously as she said down on the edge of the bed.
   “The one you used to sing when I was younger.”
   And then she stared to sing. The song sounded familiar but I couldn’t remember how. I closed the door and went to the hospitals canteen to join John and Alan. Then it hit me: it was the song from Dumbo: The one from the scene where Dumbo went to visit his mother.
   I sat down by the table and started to eat.